Spinning 40 minutes, 30 minute swim,3 mi walk.
Email to friend Sue this morning:
There is another poem by Rumi that uses the image of a house. I will find it:
Here it is:
and the explanation works well too.
Today’s another day. Ha ha. Silly remark but how I feel. Stayed up really late last night. Many issues. For one thing I was warm. My legs were itchy. See? Even in paradise issues arise.
We had tickets to a Joni Mitchell tribute concert in the centro. Nothing I would entertain doing in the NW but it seemed Ok to do here. They were ok. Not the real deal but good enough. We thought so anyway. Leslie and Rudy left after 10 minutes. For reasons of their own. We stayed and then wandered around in the sweet warm nighttime air on the lively streets, walking west to the ocean, where we hailed a cab for home.
Here’s the disconcerting part and please forgive me for berating a tiresome issue that you have heard me lament before. So the seating area was full. But the people. Why were they there? They were old. Old. Some with coins and obvious disabilities. Many plump around the middle. Wearing funny clothing and big chunky jewelry. How could they know of Joni? Joni is for MY generation. The ones who stay forever young. I thought we were at a Senior Living function.
You catch my drift.
I do better in diversity. Here at Las Moras, we are in the minority. People are charming and busy going about their lives and I don’t understand every nuance of life here. There is insulation in that phenomenon.
I know enough. I see enough. Enough seeps in through the news. Life is a struggle. The workers labor so. The maids come in and out of Las Moras. All the children here go to private school. Every civilization was built on the backs of another.
How to reconcile? There is no way. Breathe in and out. Find some good. Do some good. Relish living and the gratefulness of life for the time being. Listen listen listen. And hit the pause button. Read read read. And move. For we all play a part. A small part. And then we’re gone. I love a lot.
Once, when I was turning 60 when we were in Mexico (see out of the country again), I had a dream. This time we were in Tulum. Someone in the dream said to me: “soften your focus”. I stopped in my tracks. And knew what that meant. And still do. That was around the same time I learned to fly in a dream. Around Washington Middle School. And then we retired.
I stayed up late last night finishing the book I was reading: The Girl Who Loved Saturday Night. How luxurious to stay up and read and know that I don’t have to be concerned about being tired the next day.
I’ll bring the camera today and honor your requests for pics!!
Oh and by the way, yes, there are pelicans here.
During a particularly difficult time of life I wrote this up and then have shared it with a handful of people. Let me just say I am grateful for the people who have helped me along the way. I know this is a rough patch for you. A very big complicated one. I want to share this with you.
Love,1. Professional help for depression and anxiety. I am so very grateful to Sherwin for this. I know how anxiety and depression suppress joy and he taught me how to help myself remember those moments of joy, even if they were few and far between and merely a flicker. This is important. The best predictor of wellness is history. If you have a history of strength and resiliency and finding the joy, then it will return. You do.
2. Physical activity. Essential to relief on a cellular level. Must change the chemical/hormonal distribution in body and mind. Higher the aerobic level, the better.
3. Breathing. Learn how to breathe. We don't necessarily know and through prolonged stress, we lose this. Believe me.
4. Some form of meditation. Daily. Even for only 10-15 minutes. I have something I've written to say over and over. Call it a mantra if you will.
5. Readings. Pema Chodron perhaps. I have others that I count on. Stories of courage but not ones that make you feel diminished. Everyday humans.
6. Crying. There were times that I did this everyday at least once.
7. This is important too: Continue to do the things that used to bring you joy even if you are going through the motions. Do them with others who can understand and not expect you to be happy happy joy joy but will be constant and by your side.
8. Know that you are loved unconditionally and that you will prevail even if you know this only through some one else's eyes.
9. Acupuncture. For me, this is huge. There is some strong medicine in this tradition. Treating the whole body, not just singular conditions.
10. Now I've added this biofeedback piece. Change happens on many levels. We don't have to work so hard.
11. Nature. I can't say enough about this. And for you music and writing. I still have the poems you sent me.
12. Trust that you will pop out on the other side. But hang on because the inward places it takes us are frightening, dark, and unknown. Like falling off the face of the earth.
13. Nutrition. I found/find that I need more protein and have to watch sugar and blood sugar raising foods. Drinking water (and other beverages) helps.
14. I needed the help of meds. No shame.
15. Along with nature come the other sources to nurture us. Sometimes silence; sometimes music. Art. Allow yourself to be taken care of. This doesn't diminish us.
16. And of course don't look too far ahead. The appreciate the moment thing. Blink and it's over. Yikes.
17. We're all dealing with grief and loss. So very much of it. So scary. The world is scarier than ever for us( it's been like that for other parts of the world forever). So our own angst is layered on top and we're already stressed. All we can do is know this.
18. Maybe we just need to be tickled like little kids and get the laughter out.
I'm writing from my heart, xxxxxx. From my very own places of pain. I'm not really sure why I feel better now. Why the physical symptoms that made me feel like I was terminal have let up. Somehow I knew I would when I turned 60. Not that I expect it to be this way always. But I'll take the reprieve.
Count on me. Talk soon. Hope to see you too.
Marilyn
So it is now 10:40 in the morning and the day’s plans are shaping up. CC and I just took some time to talk. And reflect on our lives and the choices and people and places and like Ernest Hemingway says, “how the weather was.” It is good that we can reach each other. You’d think being retired would allow us all the time in the world but living the good life takes time and busy-ness. It takes getting away to bring balance anew. Blah blah blah.
So our day will be something like this:
Eat some breakfast. Walk the path to the main road that takes us to Liverpool - where the gym is. Plus a place to get manicures and pedicures, a lovely Sushi restaurant, Starbuck’s and a juice place. We’ll cycle on our own, having slept through the yoga and spinning classes this morning. Then we’ll continue home, stopping to replenish our food supply at the local market. That’s a day. And that’s as far as we’ve planned. As I’ve said before. We are quirky vacationers.
Following the plan, we arrived at the gym and found Leslie there working out with Irma. Irma's the one I'm supposed to do belly dancing with. We'll see about that but Leslie did give me a belly dancing outfit. Please dispense with the images forming.
Our spinning was outrageous. We found the AC for the room and even with it on, I sweated more than I ever have at home. We tuned into our own tunes and sped away for 50 minutes. It's good to know that we can get a really great workout on our own. We've taken the class enough times that we know how to create the routines. Hooray!
Leslie drove us home which was a bonus, as hot and sweaty as we both were. Stopped first to have a green smoothie at the juice bar next door and I've been exuberant ever since! Some might say manic or hyper. I prefer exuberant. Hopefully, should my behavior become too erratic or over the top, my loved ones will know how to enact an intervention. For now, I'm going to assume that I am a lovable creature.
Later in the day after a delicious McMuffin-ish lunch of fried egg, avocado, tomato, cheese, sliced meat on a very minimal sandwich bun, we jumped in the van with Leslie and Rudy to go to Costco. Might as well catch a free ride and Costco always surprises. This time we found a case of Tempranillo for less than 42 pesos a bottle. It seems quite acceptable.
Discovery: wear wet clothing keeps a person cool.
Xoco (L&R's little Havanese) came with us as he was getting dropped off for some grooming.
Following the plan, we arrived at the gym and found Leslie there working out with Irma. Irma's the one I'm supposed to do belly dancing with. We'll see about that but Leslie did give me a belly dancing outfit. Please dispense with the images forming.
Our spinning was outrageous. We found the AC for the room and even with it on, I sweated more than I ever have at home. We tuned into our own tunes and sped away for 50 minutes. It's good to know that we can get a really great workout on our own. We've taken the class enough times that we know how to create the routines. Hooray!
Leslie drove us home which was a bonus, as hot and sweaty as we both were. Stopped first to have a green smoothie at the juice bar next door and I've been exuberant ever since! Some might say manic or hyper. I prefer exuberant. Hopefully, should my behavior become too erratic or over the top, my loved ones will know how to enact an intervention. For now, I'm going to assume that I am a lovable creature.
Later in the day after a delicious McMuffin-ish lunch of fried egg, avocado, tomato, cheese, sliced meat on a very minimal sandwich bun, we jumped in the van with Leslie and Rudy to go to Costco. Might as well catch a free ride and Costco always surprises. This time we found a case of Tempranillo for less than 42 pesos a bottle. It seems quite acceptable.
Discovery: wear wet clothing keeps a person cool.
Xoco (L&R's little Havanese) came with us as he was getting dropped off for some grooming.
A school we pass on our walk. The kids love to wave and say hello!
The spinning area of the gym.
A photo of Xoco with Craig and Rudy in charge
